In January this year I chose the word 'Reclaim' as my One Little Word for 2011. I envisaged reclaiming my weight loss, my spiritual side, my house.... and I have done some of those things. However, the one thing that seems to have reclaimed me is Depression. I don't know why and I have been trying to fight it but it's been very hard going. Every time I felt like I was winning something would come along and knock me down. It's been a constant battle. However, the one thing I really didn't want to do was to go on medication. It may seem stupid but I have seen friends and family members taking their little 'happy pills' and they have worked. But I have also seen those same friends and family members trying to wean themselves off the pills only to go right back into depression again. It's not something I want. A lot of things have been affected by my state of mind. My weight loss, for one, has completely stopped. I have managed not to gain any so that's something to be grateful for, but I've hit a plateau. This plateau has lasted almost a whole year now and it's very frustrating! It was so frustrating that I stopped going to my Weight Watchers meeting for 3 weeks because I couldn't face the scales... and that didn't do my mental state any good either because I felt like I was quitting.
On Monday evenings I take Herself to her swimming lessons at the local community pool. As she's old enough to go in the pool on her own for the lesson I normally sit at the tables provided and do some reading or chatting etc. However, this past Monday I decided that I would go for a swim too. As the larger pool was available and there were some people doing lengths I decided to join in and do some too. I think I must have done about 20 in the half-hour I had available. It felt good! Little did I realise that the swimming instructor was watching me! The following day at Weeself's lesson she offered to devise a programme for me to improve my fitness, which I gladly accepted. I LOVE swimming and would much prefer to be in the pool than the gym. I went along to the pool on Wednesday morning, child-free, and was handed a killer programme. 64 lengths!! A mile!! Never would I ever challenge myself to do that, but I got swimming and had finished all 64 lengths in an hour and a half. Wow. I shocked myself and, boy, did it feel good!!! I was buzzing for the rest of the day until the evening.
That evening I phoned my Stampin' Up! Upline, Julie, and she told me about Eating Frogs. Ewwww. Ok, not that Ewww, as it turns out. Julie told me to identify the tasks that I least enjoy or have been procrastinating about the most. Turns out I have PLENTY of those!! Those are your frogs. They are not pleasant to eat, but once you have eaten it you are safe in the knowledge that nothing else is going to be that bad for the rest of the day. Julie said that I have to eat my frog first thing in the morning so that the rest of the day can go smoothly, because nothing else is going to be worse than eating that frog! Thanks Julie for the pep talk, it was just what I needed to hear!! I identified that my first frog should be getting back to WW the next morning..... and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I hadn't gained any weight in the 3 weeks I'd been off. Despite shovelling in enough food to feed an entire army! (Somehow I think the swimming helped with that!)
So, I'm back. Yes, I'm still struggling with the Big D and that's mostly likely going to be a long term battle. But between swimming, to get the endorphins going and to boost the weight loss, and Eating my Frogs, to get past the things that are bogging me down, I feel like there is actually light at the end of this tunnel now. Maybe this year hasn't been a complete waste? Maybe I can 'reclaim' things that I thought were lost?? I don't know, but for now I shall go swimming again and eat another frog.
Thanks for reading all this way through! Leave me a comment please, I'd like to know how you eat your frogs!!
I've not come across the idea of eating frogs before, but it certainly makes a lot of sense.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to comment to empathise about the depression. As you may or may not know I've struggled with it for many years, both medicated and un-medicated and know what a deadening lump it can be. If I can help, let me know.